Appraisal

 : to evaluate the worth, significance, or status of; especially : to give an expert judgment of the value or merit of

  The tension inside me rises noticeably.  Desire is present and activated.  Content is available, but seems random and unconnected, so I wait.  Later after reading a blog post from a friend about why she runs, I ask myself,  "Why do I write?"  I do not have a ready answer.  At present I am not sure that I believe that what I write is helpful to anyone except me.  It's kind of a personal cleansing thing.  I like to go back and read the posts later to help me remember what I was feeling at the time, also.  Moreover it's good practice since I would like to "be a writer;" in that specific desire, I can easily become entangled.  Is it enough to write for an audience of one and to hope it will be a blessing to Him and to someone else?

 Think Veggie Tales with me for a moment.  You remember the scene in "A Snoodles Tale" where the main character arrives on top of the mountain and meets God, who reinforces the Snoodle's gifts and identity?  That's the ultimate purpose.  Hope and dream!


 As we sing about chasing after His presence, I am aware that I arrived at church longing to bask in free glory, for which I had not worked.  Hungering for more of God is within me, yet I feel like I don't hunger enough or have enough desire to follow hard after Him.  I cry out to Him for help with all of the above.  Revelation descends while singing; "there's no place I'd rather be, than here in Your love" includes everywhere that I am -- whoosh!  Bill Johnson speaks a "now" word about how abiding in Papa's house and receiving His love transforms me; the gifts of the Spirit are God's graces upon my life and are gifts for me to give away. Receive and give freely.

Enjoy the process while Minding the Minutia

As the 1.5 hour gap between church and home diminishes to under .5 hours, I ponder the afternoon's events, and "bake cookies" pops into my brain.  I almost successfully immediately dismiss it because of many rational reasons. Yet "I love to bake cookies" and the sudden and intense lightening of my mood accompanying that thought wins the day!  Clothes-washing machine and dishwasher successfully humming, I bake oatmeal cookies.  My heart is glad.

Glancing at the menu for the week, I decide to follow through with the planned supper rather than substitute the one which we missed earlier in the week.  I purposefully decide to set aside time to make and bake bread, remembering how much baking makes me happy. 

Hope and dream, receive His peace and enjoy the process -- so far, so good.


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