“It's just a spirit thing. It's just a holy nudge. It's like a circuit judge in the brain. It's just a spirit thing. It's here to guard my heart. It's just a little hard to explain.” [Newsboys, “It’s Just a Spirit Thing”]
Why those lyrics? At present, they sum up life for me; it is just a little hard to explain. Life is brilliant currently, despite my lack of ability to explain it!
I must admit that I was struggling with my identity this week during the boot camp portion of sports camp; boot camp is when we train and prepare our team to lead the kids who attend the sports camp. My role seemed undefined and insignificant to me for the first several days of the week. I loved hanging out with and connecting with all of our team, as well as helping wherever I could. I stepped over the chicken line several times by doing things that are not what I see as a natural strength of mine, also. Yet, I did not feel like I was doing what I should be doing even though I had no idea what else I should be doing. Finally on Thursday, I experienced the answer to my cries to Papa about my role: a mom of several of our team members hugged and thanked me with tears in her eyes for making the week possible and so good for her kids. Caught completely off-guard by this, I was undone. I am so very grateful to the Lord, as well as to all the people who trusted me to work with their kids. I have heard it said that my destiny and identity are probably something I am already doing without even realizing it. It’s just a little hard to explain and to perceive when that is the case.
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