Random

Home schooling: It's probably the weather and my hormones combined, but today the thought that I have never really measured up when it comes to home schooling continues to surface and bob. It's probably also the fact that we just participated in a home school graduation ceremony/reception and an open house this past weekend for our first graduate. Comparing myself with other home schoolers is so very unwise! It does, however, make me want to be better to the measure that I can be while still being me in the process.

When I think upon that, I start getting sad and fearful that I will let go of my newly rekindled dreams and become complacent and asleep. I want to learn to be fiercely present and invested in my present reality, squeezing out of it all that I can knowing that He will use it for His glory and my benefit and the benefit of others, while being fiercely determined and hungry and desperate for more of His presence and the Kingdom.

It just occurs to me that our son did qualify as a National Merit Scholar Finalist, so for him, this was a good experience. Who can say what the outcome would be otherwise, but that's a commendable outcome. Show me how to be better, more creative, more invested in each child while allowing them to own their own lives: messes, problems, victories, struggles, education, decisions. I will lend my strength, support and love to them and help them, but I will not try to control them or make them do it. How I need mercy, grace and love!